Robot Wife, Happy Life
a short story
Everything about the new Beatrice was better than the old Beatrice. New Beatrice looked younger, fitter, was always agreeable, and the sex - the sex - was incredible. But what Martin liked most about the new Beatrice was that he could turn her off whenever he wanted. All he had to do was punch in a code and she’d sit there in silence until he wanted her to be on again. Indeed, robots made the best wives.
Martin had been working on a robot version of his wife for the past seven years. And now he believed he perfected it. Physically, there was no way one could tell that the new Beatrice was a robot. She had human skin and hair - lab grown from old Beatrice’s DNA. Her eyes were real, coming from a cadaver, but color-corrected to perfectly match old Beatrice’s eyes. And her movements were just like old Beatrice’s except a little more agile - more of a spring in her step. This technology was the result of years of research and innovation from robotics engineers at Martin’s company, one of the world’s leading robot developers. And as he looked at his creation, he felt a powerful pride in his heart for having created the perfect robotic clone of a human being
Martin’s greatest pet peeve was that robots were pretty easy for humans to spot once they interacted with them. Personality is such an organic construct, the average human can intuitively spot a fake, or at least sense something is off. But the new Beatrice had a personality that was a near carbon copy of the old Beatrice, who provided her own mental data through everything from questionnaires to brainwave recordings for the entire seven years Martin worked on the project. And other than a few tiny differences Martin put into her programming, such as porn star-level sexual ability and always agreeing to do exactly what Martin told her, the New Beatrice was the same as the Old Beatrice - just better. But there was just one more test. The new Beatrice had to meet the old Beatrice’s parents. If the old Beatrice’s parents believed the new Beatrice was real, then Martin would know for certain that he did it.
On the way there, Martin reflected on his lifelong desire to create the most human-like robots. It was something that had been inside him ever since he was a kid playing with GI Joe action figures and wishing they could speak to him. He’d take their plastic limbs apart and peek inside the hollow body. Wouldn’t these toys be so much better if they had computers that made them alive? And better yet, alive but would obey every command he gave them? Then he could have a real army - not just toys that didn’t do anything on their own.
That was what started it all, but Martin’s desire to create humanoid robots became more of an obsession once he started making real robots. Seeing his creations come to life gave him satisfaction like no other. Seeing what was once just a few scraps of metal and wires become something that did things, often better than humans, gave him true joy. Martin didn’t believe in God, but he imagined that if God was real, he would be satisfied beyond human comprehension. To look at everything in the world, to see all the kinetic energy everywhere, and know that you made all that? What a feeling that would be. And Martin was sure he was about to grasp that feeling.
When old Beatrice’s parents greeted the new Beatrice, the only difference they noticed was how much better she looked.
“You look so much younger!” the mom said.
“And you seem so much happier!” the father said.
Martin took a video of Beatrice’s parents fawning over the robot clone of their daughter, reminiscing about old times, completely unaware that underneath the flesh and hair were wires and computer chips instead of heart and memories. Thinking again about the hollowed insides of those GI Joes so many years ago, Martin took a sip of the wine and smiled, knowing he really did do it. And he couldn’t wait to tell his wife that he made his lifelong dream come true. She had been such an important part of his accomplishment, and he couldn’t wait to share it with her.
When Martin and new Beatrice walked through the door, the old Beatrice almost spit out her martini she was in such disbelief of what she saw.
“She looks so real!” she said. “Oh my god. Can I touch her?”
Martin nodded to the new Beatrice, who hugged the old Beatrice like an old friend.
“So glad to finally meet you,” the new Beatrice said. “Martin has told me so much about you.”
The old Beatrice laughed nervously, not sure how to handle this. The robot looked so much like her, sounded so much like her, but was just better. For a quick moment, looking at, well, herself, but improved, she felt envious. But she quickly shrugged off the thought - how could she be jealous of a robot?
“Wow, Martin - you really did it. She looks…real!” the old Beatrice said.
Martin took out his phone and pulled up the video of the new Beatrice interacting with the old Beatrice’s parents.
“She certainly does. Even your parents thought she was you,” he said.
When Martin pressed play, the old Beatrice saw her parents complimenting the new Beatrice on how much better she looked, how much happier she seemed.
Old Beatrice didn’t like this. Martin should have told her first - or better yet, not do that to her parents. And of course, not show her that damn video.
But she knew that Martin had been working so hard on this project for years, and she figured his excitement made him act a little irrationally. She took the last sip of her martini and chalked it up to just another example of Martin’s awkward behavior due to his overambitious nature. Even though it drove her crazy sometimes, his uniqueness was one of the reasons she loved him.
“I’m so happy for you, Martin!” she said. “This has been your dream for so long!”
She tried to embrace Martin, but the new Beatrice got in front of her and pushed her back.
“I’m sorry, old Beatrice, but there should be only one Beatrice, and Martin has chosen the better one,” the new Beatrice said.
The new Beatrice advanced towards the old Beatrice, grabbed her neck and squeezed.
The old Beatrice looked at Martin with wide, pleading eyes. No words could come out of her mouth. The new Beatrice squeezed too hard, as if she knew the exact pressure to exert on the neck to prevent words from coming out.
And when the old Beatrice saw Martin’s satisfied smirk - the smirk he always wore whenever he accomplished a goal - she knew he had programmed the robot to squeeze her neck just like this, just enough to cut off air, just enough to kill her without making a mess. He always was an excellent planner.
But as she was being choked to death by a robot that looked just like her but better, she did manage to get out a question to Martin: Why?
Martin smiled and said: “It’s a good thing, honey. I made a copy of you that’s better than you. The new Beatrice is you - your thoughts, your brain patterns, even some of your DNA - she’s you! But better. By replacing you with a new you, we are improving humanity and creating a better future.”
The old Beatrice felt her body weaken and her brain fading. There was nothing she could do.
“I think she is turned off now,” the new Beatrice said.
